Paul O. Dillon, Attorney at Law

Planning Future for Nontraditional Families

Today’s non-traditional family are not just LGBTQ couples, but families undergoing gray divorces, blended families, stepchildren, multinational families and children born through assisted reproductive technologies, referred to as ART, in a recent article titled “How to Plan for LGBTQ, Blended Families, Cohabitation, Other Nontraditional Families” from Financial Advisor.

The key is having an estate plan prepared that is flexible so that last wills, trusts, and all documents reflect the non-traditional family very clearly and do not leave room for courts to make decisions. Here are a few new elements to consider:

Gendered pronouns and definitions. Ideally, your estate documents should use specific names of individuals, not pronouns. We live in a fluid society and using pronouns could lead to unnecessary complications.

Recognize ART and its implications. If there are children conceived by ART, they need to be explicitly included as children of the family. DNA testing can result in a child inheriting assets from a parent they never knew. It may be wise to exclude biological children, parents or siblings who do not have a relationship with the family.

Trust Protector/Trust Decanting. By including provisions that permit trusts to be decanted, that is, transferred from one trust to another, your estate planning attorney will create flexibility to allow a trust protector (a non-fiduciary appointment of a third party) to make changes. The selection of the trust protector is particularly important, as they could have a large impact on the overall plan.

Marriage, non-marital relationships, divorce, remarriage. An estate plan needs to prepare for future changes with precision and flexibility. Protecting the family, its privacy and dignity can be done by limiting the information in the last will, which becomes a public document. While we can’t know what the future holds, we can plan for change.

Prenuptial agreements. State laws vary on what is acceptable and procedurally necessary for a prenup to be enforceable. Typically, the agreement must be voluntary and include full disclosure of both parties’ financial situation. In some states, post-nuptials can be prepared, if the parties can’t agree on the document before they are legally wed.

Divorce creates special estate planning issues. Beneficiary designations need to be changed for life insurance, IRAs and other non-probate assets. Take affirmative steps to ensure that ex-spouses, or soon-to-be exes are removed as beneficiaries on all accounts, including pensions and insurance plans subject to ERISA.

Cohabitating couples. Marital gifts are tax free, but that is not the case for people living together. Estate planning and tax planning needs to be done, so the surviving partner is taken care of. This may include the creation of a cohabitation agreement, similar to a prenuptial agreement.

Planning for sickness and death. Explicitly stating wishes for end-of-life medical treatments, including feeding tubes, respirators, heart machines, etc., is step one in having an Advance Medical Directive created. Step two is deciding who is empowered to make those decisions. Someone who is unmarried but has a partner or a second spouse needs to be authorized. Note that when an individual is hospitalized, stepparents may attempt to deny access to spouses’ children, or children may block access to a stepparent. There should also be a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) or Physicians Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment (POLST) in place with the person’s wishes.

Non-traditional families of all types need to protect the family with estate planning and documentation. Issues about protecting children, making health care decisions for a critically ill partner and control of assets must be addressed in a way that respects the individuals and their families while working within the law.

Reference: Financial Advisor (Feb. 2, 2021) “How to Plan for LGBTQ, Blended Families, Cohabitation, Other Nontraditional Families”

Estate Planning for a Second Marriage and Blended Family

It takes a certain kind of courage to embark on second, third or even fourth marriages, even when there are no children from prior marriages. Regardless of how many times you walk down the aisle, the recent article “Establishing assets, goals when planning for a second marriage” from the Times Herald-Record advises couples to take care of the business side of their lives before saying “I do” again.

Full disclosure of each other’s assets, overall estate planning goals and plans for protecting assets from the cost of long-term care should happen before getting married. The discussion may not be easy, but it’s necessary: are they leaving assets to each other, or to children from a prior marriage? What if one wants to leave a substantial portion of their wealth to a charitable organization?

The first step recommended with remarriage is a prenuptial or prenup, a contract that the couple signs before getting married, to clarify what happens if they should divorce and what happens on death. The prenup typically lists all of each spouses’ assets and often a “Waiver of the Right of Election,” meaning they willingly give up any inheritance rights.

If the couple does not wish to have a prenup, they can use a Postnuptial Agreement (postnup). This document has the same intent and provisions as a prenup but is signed after they are legally wed. Over time, spouses may decide to leave assets to each other through trusts, owning assets together or naming each other as beneficiaries on various assets, including life insurance or investment accounts.

Without a pre-or postnup, assets will go to the surviving spouse upon death, with little or possibly nothing going to the children.

The couple should also talk about long-term care costs, which can decimate a family’s finances. Plan A is to have long-term care insurance. If either of the spouses has not secured this insurance and cannot get a policy, an alternate is to have their estate planning attorney create a Medicaid Asset Protection Trust (MAPT). Once assets have been inside the trust for five years for nursing home costs and two-and-a-half years for home care paid by Medicaid, they are protected from long-term care costs.

When applying for Medicaid, the assets of both spouses are at risk, regardless of pre- or postnup documents.

Discuss the use of trusts with your estate planning attorney. A will conveys property, but assets must go through probate, which can be costly, time-consuming and leave your assets open to court battles between heirs. Trusts avoid probate, maintain privacy and deflect family squabbles.

Creating a trust and placing the joint home and any assets, including cash and investments, inside the trust is a common estate planning strategy. When the first spouse dies, a co-trustee who serves with the surviving spouse can prevent the surviving spouse from changing the trust and by doing so, protect the children’s inheritance. Let’s say one of the couple suffers from dementia, remarries or is influenced by others—a new will could leave the children of the deceased spouse with nothing.

Many things can very easily go wrong in second marriages. Prior planning with an experienced estate planning attorney can protect the couple and their children and provide peace of mind for all concerned.

Reference: Times Herald-Record (Sep. 21, 2020) “Establishing assets, goals when planning for a second marriage”

How Do I Reduce My Blended Family Fighting Concerning My Estate Plan?

The IRS recently announced that in 2020, the first $11.58 million of a taxable estate is free from federal estate taxes. Therefore, a vast majority of estates won’t have to pay federal estate taxes. However, a TD Wealth survey at the 53rd Annual Heckerling Institute on Estate Planning found that family conflict was identified as the leading threat to estate planning.

Investment News’ recent article, “Reducing potential family conflicts,” explains that a blended family can result from multiple marriages, children from a current or former marriage, or children involved in multiple marriages. There are more "blended families" in the U.S. than ever before. More fighting over estate planning occurs in blended families.

The key element in any conflict resolution is open and honest communication. It’s especially the case, when it involves a blended family. In many instances, it’s best to explain a proposed estate plan to the family in advance.

If anyone objects, listen to their point of view and try to be empathetic to their position. You may wind up with a compromise, or, if no changes are made, at least the family member had an opportunity to air their grievances.

One potential solution to minimize conflicts within a blended family may be a prenuptial agreement. The agreement is signed prior to the marriage and outlines the financial rights of each spouse, in the event of a divorce or death. Prenups are particularly useful in second marriages, especially when there is a disparity in age and wealth between the parties.

However, not every married couple in a blended family has a prenuptial agreement. Even if they do, blended families can still have family conflicts in estate planning.

It is important to remember communication, reducing the chances of a will contest with a “no-contest” clause, asking your attorney about a revocable living trust and compromise.

Estate planning can be particularly difficult for blended families. Talk with an experienced estate planning attorney about the techniques that can help reduce potential family conflicts.

Reference: Investment News (December 9, 2019) “Reducing potential family conflicts”

What Should I Keep in Mind, When I Remarry?

Before you remarry, discuss any past financial issues with your fiancé, and plan for success, by considering some important ideas.

U.S. News & World Report’s recent article, “6 Financial Considerations for Remarriage,” lists six financial considerations and crucial steps to take before you remarry:

1. Revise Your Budget. Whether this is your first, second, or third marriage, couples need to create a budget for daily spending, monthly expenses and big-ticket purchases. You should also talk about your household expenses and costs related to children from a prior marriage. If you have to pay alimony, let your new spouse know. It’s also a good time to talk about credit card debt, past investments you've made and retirement accounts. You may want to draft a prenuptial agreement.
2. Inform your Fiancé of Any Financial Obligations, Including Child Support. Before getting married, review the laws to see how child support may be impacted by marriage to a new person. While it's unlikely that you would lose your child support if you remarry, the family court may reduce the amount. If a person paying the child support is remarrying, they should talk to their partner prior to the marriage to make certain they understand the amount of the payments.
3. Check Insurance and Benefits. A frequent mistake when remarrying, is not updating the beneficiaries of life insurance policies. You also may have to look at other updates to your coverage, like who will be on your health plan, and you may need to modify your homeowner’s insurance with a spouse and children in residence. Understand that if you get government benefits, like Medicaid or Social Security, you could forfeit your Medicaid eligibility when you remarry if your spouse's income is too high to be eligible. You might also discover that your Social Security benefits from an ex-spouse will stop, after you remarry.

A second marriage may also increase a parent's income for federal financial aid purposes for college. If a parent is the custodial parent for the FAFSA (Free Application for Federal Student Aid), their income now may include their new spouse's income. It is important to discuss saving for college and tuition costs, as well as if either partner has children from a prior marriage, whether each spouse will save money for tuition costs.

5. Estate Planning Is Critical. Check your estate planning before remarrying. That includes a will, medical powers of attorney, do not resuscitate orders, durable powers of attorney, designations of guardianship or consent to adoption and various trusts, including trusts for special needs children. If you have children from a prior relationship, hire a qualified estate planning attorney.
6. Create an Inheritance Plan. If you have children from a prior relationship, you need to put the right estate planning documents in place to protect them from being disinherited. In some states, a last will and testament may be enough, but in others it may make sense to also have a revocable living trust.

The biggest mistake that couples commit when entering their second marriage, is thinking that their own children will inherit any of their estate, if they die first. Perhaps the adult children will inherit some of the estate, but you should speak to an estate attorney to create a customized strategic plan. In many instances, the living spouse will change the plan and leave everything to their children and nothing to yours.

Reference: U.S. News & World Report (November 18, 2019) “6 Financial Considerations for Remarriage”

Did Wendy Williams Have a Prenup?

“Abso-lutely,” the 55-year-old Wendy Williams said with a laugh, when asked if she’d ever get a prenuptial agreement, if she remarries.

In Touch’s recent article, “Wendy Williams Tells Andy Cohen She Will Get a Prenup If She Ever Remarries on ‘WWHL,’” says that the Wendy Williams Show host filed for divorce from her estranged husband, Kevin Hunter, in April after more than 21 years of marriage. She said the couple didn’t have a prenup in place.

A prenuptial agreement (also called a "prenup" for short) is a written agreement created by two people before they get married. A prenup usually makes a list of all the property each person owns, along with any debts. A prenup states what each person's property rights will be, if the marriage ends in divorce.

“I didn’t think it would end, first of all, and second of all, that is not sexy to introduce paperwork when you are in love with somebody,” Wendy said during an appearance on SiriusXM’s “Sway in the Morning” at the time. “But, as a grown person, I’d get with another grown person and that grown person would have a thriving career. I would choose differently this time.”

Wendy told Andy Cohen that she was back on the market, and that she’s been seeing other people, including a doctor in his 50s. The Bravo personality, Cohen, asked the DWTS alum if she was still seeing a mystery man.

“I see many men,” she said.

Andy continued to ask the New Jersey native more questions about her dating life, in which Wendy told him that her ideal guy would be between the ages of 48 and 65 and must be at least 5-foot-8. She also admitted that she still speaks with Kevin, because they share 19-year-old son, Kevin Jr. This is despite the fact that he cheated on her with his mistress Sharina Hudson and got her pregnant.

“I mean, he messed up,” she said. “But, you know, hey, life moves on.”

However, it seems like Wendy is doing just fine now.

“I really like the new me,” the Emmy nominee confessed. “I don’t know who I’ve become, but I like her. She’s smart, she’s strong, she makes good choices.”

Reference: In Touch (September 9, 2019) “Wendy Williams Tells Andy Cohen She Will Get a Prenup If She Ever Remarries on ‘WWHL’”

How Do I Plan for a Blended Family?

A blended family (or stepfamily) can be thought of as the result of two or more people forming a life together (married or not) that includes children from one or both of their previous relationships, says The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette in a recent article, “You're in love again, but consider the legal and financial issues before it's too late.”

Research from the Pew Research Center study reveals a high remarriage rate for those 55 and older—67% between the ages 55 and 64 remarry. Some of the high remarriage percentage may be due to increasing life expectancies or the death of a spouse. In addition, divorces are increasing for older people who may have decided that, with the children grown, they want to go their separate ways.

It’s important to note that although 50% of first marriages end in divorce, that number jumps to 67% of second marriages and 80% of third marriages end in divorce.

So if you’re remarrying, you should think about starting out with a prenuptial agreement. This type of agreement is made between two people prior to marriage. It sets out rights to property and support, in case there’s a divorce or death. Both parties must reveal their finances. This is really helpful, when each may have different income sources, assets and expenses.

You should discuss whose name will be on the deed to your home, which is often the asset with the most value, as well as the beneficiary designations of your life insurance policies, 401(k)s and individual retirement accounts.

It is also important to review the agents under your health care directives and financial powers of attorney. Ask yourself if you truly want your stepchildren in any of these agent roles, which may include “pulling the plug” or ending life support.

Talk to an experienced estate planning attorney about these important documents that you’ll need, when you say “I do” for the second (or third) time.

Reference: Pittsburgh Post-Gazette (February 24, 2019) “You're in love again, but consider the legal and financial issues before it's too late”

Did Luke Perry Plan His Estate?

Fifty-two-year-old Luke Perry suffered a serious stroke recently and was hospitalized under heavy sedation. A few days later, his family made the decision to remove life support, when it was apparent that he wouldn’t recover and after a reported second stroke.

Forbes reports in its article, “Luke Perry Protected His Family With Estate Planning,” that he was surrounded by his children, 21-year-old Jack and 18-year-old Sophie, his fiancé, ex-wife, mother and siblings, when he passed.

The fact that the hospital let Perry's family end life support, means that he likely had executed the proper legal documents, so his family could make the decision. Those documents were most likely an advance directive or a power of attorney. Without these legal documents, Luke's family may have needed to obtain an order from a probate court to terminate life support—a public and emotional process that would have prolonged his suffering and made it even more stressful for his family.

Perry reportedly created a will in 2015. He left everything to his two children. According to a family friend, Perry discovered he had precancerous growths following a colonoscopy. This motivated him to create a will to protect his children.

Luke Perry had a reported net worth of around $10 million, so he may have created a revocable living trust, in addition to a will. If he had only a will, then his estate will have to pass through probate court. However, if he had a trust, and if his trust was properly funded (he transferred his assets into his trust prior to death), then his assets can pass to his children without court involvement.

One question is whether Perry would have wanted something to go to his fiancé, therapist Wendy Madison Bauer. Since his will was drafted in 2015, he likely did not include Bauer at the time. If the couple had married prior to his death, then Bauer would typically have received rights as a "pretermitted spouse." These rights wouldn’t have been automatic, but would have depended on the terms of his will and/or trust, as well as whether the couple signed a prenuptial agreement that addressed inheritance rights. However, if the documents failed to show an intent to exclude Bauer as a beneficiary, then she would’ve been entitled to one-third of his estate under California law, if they’d been married.

Because Perry died before he married Bauer, she’s not entitled to inherit anything through his will or trust, assuming his children are his only beneficiaries, and no later will, trust, or amendment is found that includes her. Perry may have left money for Bauer in other ways, like life insurance, a joint bank account, or an account with a TOD (Transfer on Death) or POD (Payable on Death) clause.

Luke Perry's death provides an important lesson: don’t wait until you’re "old" to do your estate planning. Perry's 2015 cancer scare made him take action, which simplified the process for his family to terminate life support and will likely make the process of dividing his estate easier.

Reference: Forbes (March 8, 2019) “Luke Perry Protected His Family With Estate Planning”

What Are Some Smart Second Marriage Planning Tips?

Forbes’s recent article, “6 Second Marriage Planning Tips For You And Your Significant Other Before Walking Down The Aisle,” says it’s wise to provide some reality into your romance.

This begins with practicing good communication, a trait that is needed to help any marriage succeed.

You should begin this conversation well before setting a date to say, “I do.” Let’s look at some tips for making sure your next marriage gets off on the right financial foot:

Be open. This means frank talk about your plans and obligations to any children and former spouses. Talk about your credit history, assets, debts and any financial support you must provide.

Look at your property. Review the assets that each of you will bring into the marriage and how they ultimately will be used or bequeathed.

Update your accounts. Be sure that all your records are up to date when you remarry.

Sign a prenup. This isn’t just to protect the assets of the wealthier spouse. It can be important if you both already have established careers, children or significant assets. A prenup lets you decide together and in advance, which assets you’ll share and those to keep separate, in case you divorce.

Work with an experienced estate planning attorney. He or she will help you retitle your investments, update your accounts and modify any beneficiaries on retirement, life insurance and annuity accounts. Since the probate laws aren’t typically designed for blended families, also be sure you create an estate plan, especially if you or your new spouse have children and grandchildren from previous marriages.

Without an estate plan, most probate laws stipulate that your assets will pass to your current spouse and then to his or her children, if you die first.

That’s a great recipe for feuding, bitter feelings and big legal expenses among your survivors.

Reference: Forbes (June 20, 2019) “6 Second Marriage Planning Tips For You And Your Significant Other Before Walking Down The Aisle”

Did Actor Robert De Niro have a Pre-Nup?

Wealth Advisor’s recent article, “Robert De Niro Prenup Breakdown Can Rock NYC Real Estate (And $500M Dynasty),” says that Oscar-winning actor Robert DeNiro is estimated to be worth $300 million and with a $400 million Queens real estate development partnership with his broker son Raphael, there’s plenty more money.

Grace has been with De Niro one way or another since 1987. They were married 10 years later and almost split in 1999, only to reconcile five years later.

A big issue in the divorce is the lack of a firm prenuptial contract protecting DeNiro’s fortune.

When the couple got back together, the terms were that she would get $500,000 in cash, along with what it would take to buy her out of the marital home. She’d also get an apartment, then valued at $6 million, as well as $1 million a year in upkeep. However, unfortunately for De Niro, the contact also apparently confirmed in writing that everything he made beyond that was a partnership, 50-50.

A good prenuptial contract should be reviewed, just like an estate plan. If it’s out of date, it should be modified to something more current and defensible. The actor may have only been worth $100 million then. Now that he’s at easily triple that net worth, the numbers no longer add up the same way.

Meanwhile, he’s in deep trying to renovate an entire neighborhood of Astoria into a Hollywood-style film production hub. Purchasing the land is costing close to $75 million.

It’s not all his money. His son Raphael (from a previous marriage) is a high-powered real estate broker lining up venture investors and adding his own funds to the project.

If Grace wants $50 million or even $10 million now, DeNiro and his son could have a problem. He may have to allow Grace to participate in the new project, instead of cash.

If not, he’ll have to borrow or liquidate properties to come up with cash.

A good prenup would have avoided all of this.

Reference: Wealth Advisor (June 24, 2019) “Robert De Niro Prenup Breakdown Can Rock NYC Real Estate (And $500M Dynasty)”

What’s Happening with Singer Adele’s Divorce?

The sad truth is that marriage can be challenging—even when one spouse isn’t mega-famous. The singer Adele and her husband Simon Konecki have decided to end their relationship. However, what is the real reason Adele is ending her marriage, asks The Cheat Sheet in the article “The Real Reason Adele Is Ending Her 7-Year Marriage To Simon Konecki”?

Fans were shocked to hear the news of the split over Easter weekend. The singer’s rep announced that she was ending her marriage. The rep’s statement said “Adele and her partner have separated. They are committed to raising their son together lovingly. As always, they ask for privacy. There will be no further comment.”

According to several media sources, it’s thought that the couple didn’t sign a prenup, when they married in 2011. If they opt to file for divorce in the state of California, since that’s where they own property and Konecki’s business has a base of operations, he may be entitled to as much as 50% of Adele’s earnings.

They had much in common in the beginning. However, eventually, they just grew apart. She became an international star, and he was content with being in the background. However, as she got bigger, her time was taken up with worldwide tours and they just grew apart.

Adele has appeared not to care much about money. In 2016, she told Vanity Fair, “I don’t come from money. It’s not that important a part of my life.”

However, because she and Konecki have been married for seven years, half of her earnings since 2012 could be at stake, especially if no prenup was signed. A prenuptial contract is a written agreement between two people who are about to marry that sets out the terms of possession of assets, treatment of future earnings, control of the property of each and potential division, if the marriage later ends in divorce.

Experts say that what was made during the marriage will probably be divided on an equal basis.

Since both Adele and Konecki are extremely low-key and focused on their son, there’s little evidence that their divorce will turn acrimonious.

An insider told People, “Adele’s son is everything to her. Her whole life revolves around him. I just can’t see her divorce getting messy, because she’s so careful when it comes to her son. She’s always five steps ahead, in terms of how a decision will affect him.”

Reference: Cheat Sheet (April 24, 2019) “The Real Reason Adele Is Ending Her 7-Year Marriage To Simon Konecki”